Recently I had the honor of being summoned for jury duty.  It’s called, “SUMMONS TO REPORT FOR JURY SERVICE” right there in big bold print on their letter, or summons.

I have served on several juries and showed up for several more in which I was not selected.  On a couple of the ones that I was chosen, I served as Foreman (I like to run the discussion).

It’s fun.  Since I watch Law and Order once in a while and have a college education, I feel I have the upper hand with most of those in the courtroom.  Some of the judges are really not that smart and some of the attorneys are even less than that.  A few though are pretty good at their jobs – I guess it’s the same with most occupations.

Some attorneys have sent me questionnaires afterwards – kind of like a grade for them.  I was brutally honest.  On one, I said the attorney should probably look for employment in another occupation.  I think this one worked for the County.  Maybe that one should watch a little more Law and Order.  

By the way, the County where I was summoned to appear will remain unnamed as to protect their employee’s feelings.

The Court lists under the word IMPORTANT that you must call and confirm you received the summons.  I did.  I documented the time and date because a few years ago, I called to verify I received the summons and a few days later a deputy, trying to look all Hulk Hogan to me, showed up at my door and served me because the county had no record I had called to confirm receiving the summons.

But back to this summons.  On this particular date, I could not be there as I was scheduled to be 400 miles away for my day job.  It tells me in the “official” summons, “If you cannot attend jury service at that time set out above, you may present your medical or travel excuse to the Clerk of Courts or fax your excuse to 406-XXX-XXXX for the Court’s consideration.”  In the event you are not excused, you must appear in court at the time set out above.  Failure to appear for jury service could constitute contempt of court.

Wow, that really scares me.

So I typed a letter and on it I listed my home phone, cell phone, e-mail address, and even my supervisor’s contact information (to verify I was needed away from my home) for easy contact.  I hooked up my home fax machine, sent the letter and received the confirmation that it went through.

I never heard a word.

But being the “good citizen” on the date I was supposed to call, I called the number to see if I needed to report, although I was 400 miles away and there was no way I could make it.  The trial had been delayed a week, so the message said I needed to call after 5:00 p.m. a week later.

A week later, I called and the message said to report on Monday morning.  So on Monday morning, I put on my “Sunday best” and headed to the court house.  I had to park a few blocks away.  Before this, I needed to get my daughter to school, along with her instrument (Bass), and ensure she had a ride home with her instrument – in case someone was doing an impression of Perry Mason and would be keeping me in court for a long time.

I stood in line and when I got to the clerk’s spot at the counter, she could not find my name.  She handed me off to another person who looked annoyed and looked my name up on the computer.  She said (in a condescending voice), “Oh, you’re supposed to call on Wednesday the third after 5:00 p.m. for a possible trial on Thursday the fourth.”  She seemed annoyed by me- the little person who is not bestowed with such an important job – and scribbled the date on my summons, while marking out the original date.  She then shoved a free parking pass toward me and that was it.  I wonder how many other people showed up on the “wrong” date and wasted their mornings?  I did not have time to ask.

But that was not the end of it, on Wednesday I called after 5:00 and there was no message.  I called five times.  Nothing.  I even had my wonderful wife read the date the clerk has written on the summons to make sure I was correct.  I was correct.

So on Thursday morning, thinking that maybe the county sheriff’s office might be surrounding my home, I called and the phone was answered by a real person.  I am mostly always nice when I get a real person on the phone.  The real person said I needed to be transferred to another real person.  Finally this second real person, after hearing my story, looked up my name on the computer.  She said, “Oh, you were excused about a month ago, but you may be contacted again later this year.”  I said nobody told me.  She said, “Your name was probably lost.”  I said, “Can I be excused for a couple of years because of this error on your part?”  She said, “No.”

I should have asked for payment for my services (travel time, phone time, and wasted time).

It may seem a little funny now, but the errors on their part really ticked me off.  It wasted my time and nobody seemed to care that they did waste my time.  Plus, being a juror to me is part of being a good citizen – a civic duty – although incompetent job performance like this is the reason why some people don’t want to serve.

Hopefully, the chopper currently flying over my home is not a sign…